No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. -Albert Einstein
I am a believer that life sets up our lives to unfold for maximum growth and wisdom. That the very thing we think is weighing us down is really the doorway to fulfillment and joy. This means that what ails us is the remedy. But not in the physical sense necessarily. The physical manifestation of illness is simply the end stage of something deeper calling to us. Form follows thought. Finding out what life is calling us to however, requires choice and fearlessness. Because ultimately we can either complain about how life is unfolding, or we can get with the program. I tend to do both. First I complain, and then get with accepting the program. I used to complain a lot more. Now I fuss, but I have practiced it for a while now, so I work on cooperating with what is present and my complaining passes more quickly than before. It isn't easy, but it is simple.
So lets say you decide to cooperate with your circumstances and be present for what is happening right now. Maybe your not happy about what is present, but you don't have to be. You just have to have openness. The next step is to be fearless. This is pretty radical. But I think being fearless for ourselves is a big buy-in for believing in yourself, and to do grace through illness, it requires you to believe yourself worthy of love, grace and beauty. And to do that I believe fearlessness is in order.
Why do we need to be fearless for ourselves? Because change is hard. Because life can be scary. Because we don't know why. Because we are searching for a deeper love for this whole crazy experience called life. Because we need answers and we aren't getting any. Because something needs to change for our life to move forward. Because sometimes we have to be the one holding our own hand. This is how we move from the place of hopelessness to the place of joy. First we believe we can. We become conscious that is even a possibility. Then we open up to how we will get there. That is fearlessness. We jump out of the plane of our own life and parachute down into our own hearts. I believe that is the entire purpose of my life here on the planet. To parachute out of the plane of my life into the depths of my heart and the loving it holds. And I can complain it is a lonely journey, or I can buckle up and just do it. I decide almost every time now to just do it. (thank you Nike!)
Here are some tips of how I move into fearlessness. By the way, there is no smooth way to be fearless. It is just super clunky to be human. I am no exception to this. My assistant can tell you that I am a master stumbler and fumbler. But points for effort, right? Stand by me if you want to look good. I tend to look pulled together, but usually I am the one who gets lost, burns the sauce and is late to pick up my daughter at school. I am the one who stumbles in heels. But I am also the one who is usually crying first in any given situation, and isn't that a great ice breaker? I am the one who is laughing at all the jokes. Not just the good ones. And I will hold the door open, and smile at the world. And when it comes time to jump out of the plane and risk everything for love, I will step forward first and tell you I believe in you. See? It all works out in the end.
How I am fearless:
- I pretend I am about to dive into a swimming pool that too cold for my comfort and take a deep breath
- I close my eyes and take the step forward
- I say "f**ck it" and just do it
- I text a close friend and ask them to tell me everything is going to be ok
- I imagine my life better and this is how I get there
- I look in the mirror and say "I trust my life" or "you got this"
- I forgive myself when I when I make a big mistake
So when do we have to be fearless? Ideally every single moment. When you are in your doctors office and you are going to fire them to find a new one because you know in your heart you can find better care. When you look at the test results. When they say they don't love you. When you realize you deserve more. When you know deep down inside your job is making you sick. When you know it is time to face the dark shadows from childhood. When your at the grocery store and the box of gluten free crackers is calling your name. When the clock strikes midnight and your truest self is asking you to follow your heart, whatever that may be.
Those are some moments that require us to pony up. Put on the parachute. I am right beside you putting mine on too. Every day, I am with you doing this work. I never know how it will turn out. I just believe wisdom and love are pushing me forward. And I trust. I just keep investing in trusting myself. I make that the work. Not the worry or the fear. I let those just do what they want. But trust is where I place my focus. For myself. And I may have to try ninety nine times. But on the hundredth try I might get a hole in one. And then I am thankful I kept trying and trusting.